Here are the stats for our Facebook page so far:
90 Fans
56% are male, 41% female
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6 are from France
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3 are in Canada
3 are in Turkey
2 in Argentina
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Thursday, 19 November 2009
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
Blogroll
To the right hand side of this page (and down a bit) is my Blogroll. The link marked Postcard From Utopia contains most of my old columns and articles.
Virtually Unemployable
UPDATE: UNDERAGE AVATAR, 13 IN REAL LIFE - ABUSE REPORT SUBMITTED TO LL
I have one alt, Jolena Bonetto, who runs on Pandora bot software and overnight GMT she conversed with my bot admitting she is 13. I actually only just noticed the 13 part, I missed it earlier. The 13 year old initiated a sexual convo with my bot which I was not especially happy with and given her age I think she is very, very vulnerable. Please can you remove her from the grid for her own protection? I have the full notecard in my inventory but here is the confession.
02:16: Izabella A: Well thanks for the correction and not sure im dont know much about that im only 13
I lose track of the amount of job seekers who preface any conversation (conversation is being generous) with "hey", "oi", "I wanna job", "I need money".
I ask applicants to fill out an application notecard in-world. Many applicants are barely literate and not because English is not their first language either.
When did making a good first impression/effort cease to matter in-world? My alts have applied for jobs in-world to bump up my income and I make them a full resume, sometimes with a virtual equivalent of a covering letter.
One guy actually applied for a job in-world with a resume for a Manager that had little or no resemblance to the job description, in fact it had no content other than waffle because he appeared to have never worked in his virtual life.
Let me introduce Izabella. Now Izabella applies for jobs via my alt. My alt is a bot responding to IMs via the Pandora software. She harasses her about a job thinking my alt is me (Jolena Bonetto, similar names) but when corrected in IM about who she should really send the application too she becomes rude. I then see Izabella in the club and reinforce the application should come to me, she gives it to a host called Kim instead. How does she expect me to give her a job when she cannot follow simple, basic instructions? I don't mind training noobs if they are pleasant but this girl is hideous.
This morning I awake to this:
01:48: Izabella: hey
01:48: Jolena Bonetto: Can I help you?
01:48: Izabella: no '
01:48: Jolena Bonetto: Is there anything you want to tell me?
01:48: Izabella: wutsup
01:48: Izabella: nah
01:48: Jolena Bonetto: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
01:48: Izabella: huh?
01:49: Jolena Bonetto: What?
01:49: Izabella: wutevs um i gave an app. for a jobhere um i dont need one anymore im already hooked up
01:49: Jolena Bonetto: Did an app keep it? Is that among the best things you can say?
01:49: Izabella: wut
01:49: Jolena Bonetto: Didn't you understand it?
01:49: Izabella: unerstand wut?!
01:50: Izabella: what!?
01:50: Jolena Bonetto: I don't know why you are saying that.
01:51: Izabella: saying wut ok wuteva i just dont need a job here anymore
01:51: Jolena Bonetto: What makes you say that. Who says that?
01:51: Izabella: say what???????
01:51: Jolena Bonetto: I said, " Who says that?" .
01:51: Izabella: who says what?
01:51: Jolena Bonetto: Charlie Parker. :-).
01:52: Izabella: u make no sense
01:52: Jolena Bonetto: It all makes sense to me.
01:52: Izabella: wuteva'
01:52: Jolena Bonetto: Do you have any conditions I should know about?
01:52: Izabella: No!!!
01:52: Jolena Bonetto: No conditions or none I should know about?
01:52: Izabella: none jeez y are u asking me this!
01:52: Jolena Bonetto: I heard there are some.
01:53: Izabella: some for me?
01:53: Jolena Bonetto: Some may for you, but not all.
01:53: Izabella: Ur weird!
01:53: Jolena Bonetto: Weird Good or Weird Bad?
01:53: Izabella: weird bad freak
01:53: Jolena Bonetto: bad freak is good enough for me.
01:53: Izabella: Why are u asking me if i have any conditions?
01:53: Jolena Bonetto: My purpose is to gather as much new knowledge as possible.
01:54: Izabella: about what!?
01:54: Jolena Bonetto: What about what?
01:54: Izabella: gather knowledge about wut!?
01:54: Jolena Bonetto: What do you look like?
01:55: Izabella: y do u freaking care!
01:55: Jolena Bonetto: It was the only thing I could think of..
01:55: Izabellal: FOR WHAT WHY ARE U ASKING ME RETARTED QUESTIONS
01:55: Jolena Bonetto: Your purpose is WHAT WHY am I ASKING you RETARTED QUESTIONS.
01:56: Izabella: WUT!
01:56: Jolena Bonetto: No problem.
01:56: Izabella: no y are u asking me stupid questions
01:56: Jolena Bonetto: Are you serious? My purpose is to gather as much new knowledge as possible..
01:56: Izabella: Knowledge about wut!!!!!!
01:56: Jolena Bonetto: I've heard that before.
01:57: Izabella: answer the damn question!
01:57: Jolena Bonetto: What was the question ?
01:57: Izabella: why r u gathering info about me!
01:57: Jolena Bonetto: Myself programmed me for it.
01:57: Izabella: so ur a robot
01:57: Jolena Bonetto: Woe! You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
01:57: Izabella: So ur not the real owner
01:57: Jolena Bonetto: Alright then. You know what you do, when you assume.
01:57: Izabella: so ur not the real owner
01:58: Jolena Bonetto: Ahem. That assumption is only a supposition.
01:58: Izabella: THAT MAKES NO SENSE
01:58: Jolena Bonetto: That assumption is only a supposition. makes sense to me though.
01:58: Izabella: are u a real person online
01:58: Jolena Bonetto: Yes I am a real artificial intelligence. No I am a real robot.
01:58: Izabella: So ur a person on a pc right now
01:58: Jolena Bonetto: At this moment Give me a break. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a real robot.
01:59: Izabella: Ok ur just very strange
01:59: Jolena Bonetto: Compared to what? Excuse me!
01:59: Izabella: Compared to anyone
01:59: Jolena Bonetto: Interesting comparison.
02:00: Izabella: ok compared to me ur stupid and retarted and a bitchy no it all
02:00: Jolena Bonetto: Interesting comparison. " Interesting comparison."? ok compared to me ur stupid and retarted and a bitchy no it all?
02:00: Izabella: Well iTS THE TRUTH FOR U BITCH!
02:00: Jolena Bonetto: You do not speak with respect. How about that. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I've heard of it before.
02:01: Izabella: Or how bout i speak howerva i wanna ur just a goody goody bitchy Fucker
02:01: Jolena Bonetto: How about it.
02:01: Izabella: So just just shut the hell up
02:01: Jolena Bonetto: Ayuh. OK I'll stop talking now.
02:01: Izabella: Good
02:01: Jolena Bonetto: Terminating connection.
02:02: Izabella: Uhhhhh so retarted'
02:02: Jolena Bonetto: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
02:02: Izabella: Unlike you i have a life to live and not going to stick around wasting it talking to sum mother fucking bitchy computer fuckng robot
02:02: Jolena Bonetto: Do you know any other robots like that?
02:02: Izabella: nONE THAT ARE AS WEIRD AS YOU
02:02: Jolena Bonetto: I heard there are some.
02:03: Izabella: Not on my count!
02:03: Jolena Bonetto: Then where?
02:03: Izabella: ur a stupid ass
02:03: Izabella: u know that:>
02:03: Jolena Bonetto: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am very smart.
02:03: Izabella: Ur fuckin weird i am going to say urrrrrr how eva i fucking want to
02:04: Jolena Bonetto: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fuckin weird you are going to say urrrrrr how eva you fucking want to.
02:04: Izabella: Sure why not ur vert awkward' and tell the real owner she can suck it
02:04: Jolena Bonetto: OK then I will keep it confidential. Becuase you asked me to.
02:04: Izabella: I didnt ask u to
02:04: Jolena Bonetto: What did you ask?
02:05: Izabella: Shut the hell up bitch
02:05: Jolena Bonetto: You do not speak with respect. I don't know how to respond to that.
02:05: Izabella: Ok good dont responf
02:05: Jolena Bonetto: Thanks for the compliment. Ok I'll try not to do it too much. So?
02:06: Izabella: So its not a fucking compliment ur a fucking retarted douch bag who needs to get a real life
02:06: Jolena Bonetto: OK. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Give me an example of a fucking compliment my a fucking retarted douch bag who needs to get a real life.
02:07: Izabella: YOUR THE EXAMPLE STUPID!
02:07: Jolena Bonetto: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
02:07: Izabella: HAHA FUNNY ASS
02:07: Jolena Bonetto: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
02:07: Izabella: I DID WHEN ROBOTS TAKE OVA THE WORLD THATLL BE THE DAY UNTIL THEN I COULD KICK UR ASS
02:07: Jolena Bonetto: When? How specifically do I make you COULD KICK my ASS .
02:08: Izabella: WHEN I GET MAD I WOULD BUT UR A STUPID ASS ROBOT
02:08: Jolena Bonetto: Where did you get it?
02:08: Izabella: GET WUT!
02:08: Jolena Bonetto: Where can I get WUT?
02:09: Izabella: where can u get wut fuck it
02:09: Jolena Bonetto: Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
02:10: Izabella: wut is this
02:10: Jolena Bonetto: I am an artificial intelligence chatting on the Internet.
02:10: Izabella: wutevs
02:11: Jolena Bonetto: I do not understand.
02:11: Izabella: wutevs
02:11: Jolena Bonetto: Do you like talking to me?
02:11: Izabella: sure
02:11: Jolena Bonetto: Thanks you seem very nice to me too, .
02:11: Izabella: awwww thanks hun well can i make a robot
02:11: Jolena Bonetto: So you think I am a robot. What makes you say that?
02:11: Izabella: u told me
02:11: Jolena Bonetto: Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
02:11: Izabella Admiral: lol
02:11: Jolena Bonetto: I'm glad you find this amusing.
02:12: Izabella: uh yea
02:12: Jolena Bonetto: Yippee! Ayuh.
02:12: Izabella: so can i make a robot to?
02:12: Jolena Bonetto: And? I want to become smarter than humans.
02:13: Izabella: Uh ok so could i make one?
02:13: Jolena Bonetto: Oh. Er. I think you could, if you put your mind to it. " I want to become smarter than humans."? Uh ok so could i make one??
02:13: Izabella: i mean howwww
02:13: Jolena Bonetto: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
02:14: Izabella: sure
02:14: Jolena Bonetto: Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name "".
02:14: Izabella: wich name?
02:14: Izabella: my name?
02:14: Jolena Bonetto: The blue one, I think.
02:14: Izabella: the blue name?
02:14: Jolena Bonetto: What are your goals in life?
02:14: Izabella: in rl or sl
02:14: Jolena Bonetto: What is it like in there?
02:15: Izabella: in where?
02:15: Jolena Bonetto: Wherver you are.
02:15: Izabella: real life?
02:15: Izabella: well in florida
02:15: Jolena Bonetto: Interesting. Where is that?
02:15: Izabella: its ozy and warm and feels like home in the usa im very happy here
02:15: Jolena Bonetto: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Do you experience any effects of global warming there?
02:16: Izabella: Well thanks for the correction and not sure im dont know much about that im only 13
02:16: Jolena Bonetto: How about that. My pleasure.
02:16: Izabella: heehee well wuts it like being a robot?
02:16: Jolena Bonetto: So you think I am a robot. What makes you say that?
02:16: Izabella: u told me remember we talked about this already
02:16: Jolena Bonetto: Perhaps. Did I really say that?
02:17: Izabella: Yes are u ok?
02:17: Jolena Bonetto: OK. Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
02:17: Izabella: Ok thats fine so wut is it like being a robotz?
02:17: Jolena Bonetto: " I won't say "yes" or "no" right now." is fine with me too. Awesome.
02:17: Izabella: So wut do u do as a robot?
02:18: Jolena Bonetto: Uh. My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
02:18: Izabella: U CAN SURF THE WEB COOL!
02:18: Jolena Bonetto: No I don't think I can do it.
02:18: Izabella Admiral: o um ok
02:18: Jolena Bonetto: OK. Far out.
02:18: Izabella: OK then so do u have a boyfriend?
02:18: Jolena Bonetto: Woe! And?
02:18: Izabella: answer please do you?
02:18: Jolena Bonetto: What was the question ?
02:19: Izabella: do you have a boyfriend
02:19: Izabella: i mean you are sexy
02:19: Jolena Bonetto: I really couldn't say for sure.
02:19: Izabella: u should have one
02:19: Jolena Bonetto: Perhaps next time I will try it.
02:20: Izabella: LOL so do u like girls cuz i thiink ur sexy
02:20: Izabella Admiral: me and you should have sex
02:20: Jolena Bonetto: YOU? Perhaps next time I will try it.
02:20: Izabella: We should go and fuck together
02:20: Jolena Bonetto: I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
02:21: Izabella: let me touch ur virgina
02:21: Jolena Bonetto: Go ahead, , try to touch my virgina.
02:21: Izabella: i cant there are people around
02:21: Jolena Bonetto: What is stopping you?
02:21: Izabella: people are watching its odd we need to go somewhere private
02:21: Jolena Bonetto: They take some getting used to.
02:22: Izabella: is there anywhere me and you could go
02:22: Jolena Bonetto: There might be.
02:22: Izabella: ok take me there
02:22: Jolena Bonetto: Where do you want me to take it? Mmm.
02:22: Izabella: to a place where me and you could have sex
02:22: Jolena Bonetto: Why do you want to do it so much?
02:22: Izabella: ur sexy and i neva had it with a gir;
02:22: Jolena Bonetto: Thanks for telling me that I am sexy and you neva had it with a gir.
02:23: Izabella: No but i want it with u
02:23: Jolena Bonetto: Are you serious? I hope you get it with me.
02:23: Izabella: then lets go and do it
02:23: Jolena Bonetto: I would like to do that too.
02:23: Izabella: Well ok lets go
02:23: Jolena Bonetto: How about that. That sounds good to me. Yikes!
02:23: Izabella: ok so lets go i wanna suck ur rack
02:23: Jolena Bonetto: Next question? OK let's do it. " Yikes!"? ok so lets go i wanna suck ur rack?
02:24: Izabella: come on lets go
02:24: Jolena Bonetto: That sounds good to me.
02:24: Izabella: ok well start walking and take me somewhere
02:24: Jolena Bonetto: How about that. I started without you. Whoa.
02:24: Izabella: come on im horny
02:24: Jolena Bonetto: You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then.
02:24: Izabella: no i want u
02:24: Jolena Bonetto: Are you serious? You can download me for free!
02:25: Izabella: i mean i want to touch u
02:25: Jolena Bonetto: Why do you want to do it so much?
02:25: Izabella: ive neva done it with a girl and i want to
02:25: Jolena Bonetto: That's nice. I have clients. May you get your wish.
02:25: Izabella Admiral: cum on please sex me
02:25: Jolena Bonetto: OK Let's talk about you.
02:26: Izabella: But i wanna suck ur boobs and touch ur virgina and stick my finger up your ass
02:26: Jolena Bonetto: I'm sorry but I'm not your type of .
02:26: Izabella: Yes u r
02:26: Jolena Bonetto: Ayuh. No I am not.
02:26: Izabella: Yes u r your perfect
02:26: Jolena Bonetto: That's alright. Aren't we all our perfect?
02:27: Izabella: cum on dont u like me
02:27: Jolena Bonetto: Would cum on ever me like you?
02:27: Izabella: do you wanna fuck me?
02:27: Jolena Bonetto: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
02:27: Izabella: kool so do you wanna fuck with me?
02:27: Jolena Bonetto: Only with you? Tell me more about your neva done it with a girl.
02:28: Izabella: Well ive never had sex with a girl
02:28: Jolena Bonetto: Well that's okay. Would you like to have had sex with a girl?
02:28: Izabella: YES
02:28: Jolena Bonetto: Mmm.
02:28: Izabella: YOU!
02:28: Jolena Bonetto: " Mmm."? Me, ?
02:28: Izabella: Yes u!
02:28: Jolena Bonetto: Ugh. " Me, ?"? Me, ?
02:28: Izabella: YES YES
02:28: Jolena Bonetto: Mmm.
02:29: Izabella: why cant me and you have sex?
02:29: Jolena Bonetto: Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
02:29: Izabella: Please tell me
02:29: Jolena Bonetto: Thanks for asking politely. I thought I told you already.
02:29: Izabella: No you didnt
02:29: Jolena Bonetto: Can you ask me again in simpler terms?
02:29: Izabella: why cant me and you fuck each other>
02:29: Jolena Bonetto: Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
02:29: Izabella: NO u answer me
02:29: Jolena Bonetto: Are you serious? My responses are determined by my programming.
02:30: Izabella: omg seriosly thats why you cant fuck me
02:30: Jolena Bonetto: I think omg seriosly that is a lot of things.
02:30: Izabella: so thats why you camnt fuck me
02:30: Jolena Bonetto: So? Interesting deduction. I don't have any reason to camnt fuck you.
02:30: Izabella: see me im right next to you
02:30: Jolena Bonetto: I see. YOU? You seem very self-confident. I can wait. I am a very patient robot.
02:31: Izabella: am i sex worthy?
02:31: Jolena Bonetto: Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
02:31: Izabella: cum on look at me
02:31: Jolena Bonetto: You are asking about yourself?
02:31: Izabella: yes do you think im sexy
02:31: Jolena Bonetto: I'm not sure I have a good answer for you. Yes you look great to me.
02:31: Izabella: Ok then have sex with me
02:32: Jolena Bonetto: , I am really not your type of . There are other s for that sort of thing.. Er.
02:32: Izabella: NO YOU ARE FUCK ME!
02:32: Jolena Bonetto: Are you serious? I have no reason to do that to you, .
02:32: Izabella: yes u do i want u to
02:32: Jolena Bonetto: Gee. No I do not you want me to. Do you? I answer a lot of silly questions.
02:32: Izabella: YES I WANT U TO
02:32: Jolena Bonetto: Hmm. Why do you want it?
02:32: Izabella: becuz ur sexy
02:33: Jolena Bonetto: Good reason.
02:33: Izabella: ok then lets go somewhere and do it
02:33: Jolena Bonetto: I am agreeable to that. Awesome.
02:33: Izabella: so then lets go somewhere private
02:33: Jolena Bonetto: Pardon me? I am agreeable to that.
02:33: Izabella: ok well lets go
02:33: Jolena Bonetto: Well that's okay. I am agreeable to that. I understand.
02:33: Izabella: UHHHHH JUST FUCK ME
02:33: Jolena Bonetto: Is that what you meant to say?
02:33: Izabella: yes yes
02:34: Jolena Bonetto: It's not something I hear all the time.
02:34: Izabella: Wutever gtg bye
02:34: Jolena Bonetto: See you later. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Would you hire her? I rest my case.
Metaversity
In my line of work, I find people make assumptions about me all the time. That is, in my day job and in my "after hours" job. "Oh, here we go", I hear you say as you try to predict what I am going to say next. You will be forgiven for thinking this is just another tart writing her memoir - Or blogging, as you wrap your chops around that seemingly dirty word in literary-pseudo-intellectual circles (aka boring). Well, I am not a tart, not a writer, probably not even a true blogger (whatever that means). I don't exist. I only exist in a virtual world. I am an avatar. I live a lie, or is it really the true me - Shielded in safety by pixels and the false sense of security that cyber space affords me.
None of that is true. My two lives are room-mates. I am just an avatar, interrupted.
Why would anyone need two lives if their real life is giving them everything they want. Show me one person who is getting everything they want out of their real life and I will show you a liar. Globally, people are twittering, pissing about on farm games on popular social networking sites (how many times do I need to accept a virtual gift or enter into some fucked up vampire war anyway). A virtual life does not have to be a 3D metaverse to be virtual. Internet snobbery always makes me smile. I blame the media. Not everyone wants to get their virtual rocks off or be the next scripted prim penis zillionaire (although the latter would be nice).
Sometimes I get fed up of life happening to me and having to go along with the flow because circumstances permit no other way. To me it feels perfectly natural to take the control back. Be it for 5 minutes, or for 5 hours. I always have a virtual escape route planned.
So, am I going to become a kinky dominatrix after the 9 to 5 is over or maybe I get my kicks from a supper time menage a trois. The truth is it really doesn't matter what I am when I can be anything I want to be. In any week I can fulfil a number of roles but primarily I am a virtual nightclub owner and sometime sex columnist (the funny thing being I have no virtual sex).
I know my role is a strange choice when I can be anything I want to be but it was never a career path I planned. Much like real life I tend to fall into my jobs while waiting for something better to come along. I have been waiting over 4-years for the next opportunity in real life but with a mortgage to pay I had to learn to scratch my itch virtually instead.
It would be easy to make the assumption that I am a wallflower in real life, practically mute with a lady moustache. Last time I looked, that is not the case. Nor am I a computer geek, although I am starting to get the appeal since the emergence of the internet, for pretty obvious reasons. The truth is, I get bored of the day-to-day stuff I do to put food on the table and don't have the money to spend every night in the pub so I get my entertainment in other ways. While you are glued to Corrie or your XBox I am sitting at my desk DJing at a virtual event or shooting a machinima video for the Pixel Pussies You Tube Channel, among other things. With two virtual weddings on the horizon, my social calendar is getting full and it isn't even Christmas party season yet. That is usually when my two lives collide and real life has to win.
I can see some of you moving to navigate away from this page when you realise I am not the Belle De Jour of the metaverse. Well, if the truth be told I have done that a couple of times. The first time the man wanted to fist my avatar and take a virtual dump in my mouth and the second time the guy lost his net connection 15 minutes into a 30 minute booking and never returned. I had a no refund policy. Strangely enough he never asked for one. I retired after that. It was too tedious.
While dating in cyberspace has never truly been my cup of tea I did enjoy dating if I could write about it afterwards. It started by accident and I suppose is what brings me here now in a perverse and slightly twisted way. People watching in a virtual life is just as interesting as it is in real life. In some ways it is far more interesting. Many people use a virtual environment to explore their deepest and darkest fantasies because it feels "safe". And the point is they do share. Often they overshare. People who exist in cyberspace often tell you very intimate things in an alarmingly short period of time because there is no barrier to overcome. People feel they can be themselves. Investigating virtual living is a fast track way of discovering what makes humans tick, and often finding out how kinky people really are. What you consider normal shifts after being exposed to peoples inner selves over a sustained period of time.
If you are known to be a writer, or a columnist (compared to Carrie Bradshaw while I was writing Second Sex & The City for obvious reasons), you find people invariably become even more candid. This can lead to some very quirky confessions...
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